How not to train your german shepherd and other life lessons

Sam Dog

Sam Dog

Sam is our German Shepherd, he is adorable, intelligent, loving and we wouldn’t change him for the world, but, he’s also a total moron.

Sam is sometimes too clever for his own good. In some ways he is very well trained, in others not so much, mainly to do with the way he was brought up and trained by us.

We bought Sam as a pup, he is the first and only dog we’ve bought. Every dog we’ve had has been a rescue and all of my childhood dogs were rescues or pups from friends dogs. So any issues Sam has are all down to hubby and me with a little of Sam’s personality mixed in.

Sam grew up gardening, I garden all the time and Sam always comes with me. He also grew up chasing stones, living in the countryside stones are unavoidable, but when Sam was a pup and we’d go for a walk, hubby would kick stones and Sam would chase them, great game…


Sam has played with and chased stones his entire life, he will even sneak them into the house and sit with them under his chin trying to pretend it’s not there. Consequently he has no teethe left, their all stumps and he had to have one removed a few months back.

He also throws his own stones. He will scrape them through his own legs and then run after them (see moron), by doing this he scrapes great chunks of lawn away and creates hollows in the ground, great, we haven’t had a flat green lawn for 10 years now. The whole reason this blog title is how not to train your German Shepherd and other life lessons is because of Sams stone habit.

The third house we lived in, Sam created a trench. I managed to teach him to only scrape stones in one part of the garden and the trench eventually ended up being about 3 feet deep and around 8 feet long. I always said I was going to write a book on how not to train your shepherd, I didn’t write a book but i started this blog.

Anyone who has ever owned a shepherd will tell you, they talk. I don’t mean bark, i mean talk. Always making noises and speaking to you, even when he’s sucking on a teddy he makes noise. On many an occasion we have to tell him to shut up quite loudly just so we can hear ourselves, it never lasts long, about 5 minutes and then he’s off again.

One of his favourite games is chase the car, this is so much fun. Hubby used to have a garage about 100 yards from our house, if he was moving a car over from our yard he would drive about 5 miles an hour and let Sam run after him, marvelous. So of course, Sam now things any vehicle contains hubby and wants to run after it, he doesn’t stop either, not until the car stops. If he’s on a lead you need to find an obliging fence post to put his lead over or you run the risk of being dragged down the road, again moron.

All these bad habits aside however, and I wouldn’t change him for anything. He loves people and wants to be with them all the time. He’s going blind now and is my shadow. Wherever I go, Sam goes. He also has a spinal condition which will deteriorate over the next couple of years but none of this stops him. He loves to play, he always wants to play, oh my word, you show willingness to play and he wont leave you alone.

He loves going for a walk, although he can’t walk far now, he gets very miffed if Holly gets out and he doesn’t, Holly being our other dog.

He sleeps in our bedroom, snoozes on the sofa and has some of the oddest commands you will have ever heard, Kitchen for example meaning ‘go and lie down nothing is happening right now’, most people use settle for this, Sam just picked up kitchen. He gives lots of slobbery kisses, wakes me up every morning at 5.30am and always wants to be outside. He makes me happy, calms me why my mental health is all over the place and licks anyones’ feet.

He’s a total idiot and I love him more than life and definitely more than hubby.




5 thoughts on “Sam Dog

  1. Awww! Isn’t it crazy how deep dogs can work their way into your heart? I also think my dog can be a bit of a doofus. It sounds like your Sam is a truly wonderful companion!

  2. So happy to read about Sam!
    Funny how many mistakes you make when it’s your first puppy huh! hahah Our Lab Dexter is the big baby of the house.
    And Tikka’s teeth are all used up because of frisbees!

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